Orgasm October has us thinking about orgasms constantly. And this lazy Saturday morning, we're thinking about coffee and orgasms both. Well, it's morning in Chicago at least. What better time for a cup of coffee? But have you ever considered morning orgasms replacing coffee occasionally? Yes, it's possible. Dr. Carlen Costa reports.
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An orgasm in the morning is better than coffee. That’s what I always say. No matter I don't drink coffee!Today, I am inspired by orgasms. I’m in San Francisco - the city where food is a delicacy and so is sex. People here take their sexuality very seriously, and why shouldn’t they? We are consistently plagued with variably negative, closed-minded and overt in-your-face messages in reference to our genders and sexualities. It’s nice to be able to find a safe haven for those who identify themselves in sex positivity and allow themselves to just be (at least this has consistently been my experience coming here).
So why the orgasm?
I started my day with a lecture from the man who invented the Discostick(R). He came up with the idea when his wife was having concerns climaxing and experiencing pain. The percussive source instrument’s claim to fame is that its vibrations have been known to aid in reducing vaginal adhesions (scarring) from surgeries in women such as C-sections, hysterectomies, or repeated abdominal incisions. As mentioned, the percussive vibrations stimulate and loosen lower tendons and ligaments while also supplying a rather pleasurable massage above and below the pubic bone. The also fortunate result happens to be an orgasm! Which, let’s be honest, is amazing!
This got me thinking about orgasms. Vibrator therapy administered by doctors of the past to women were almost daily requirements in order to ‘rid women’ of ‘sickness’ such as deviancy and mania. Some women were even known to self pleasure before big events, attending church and other social gatherings. Why? In order to give them pleasing dispositions and a healthy glow.
Bring back the orgasm
Why aren’t we having orgasm parties? Why is there still such shame associated with women’s sexuality? Why do many people still feel guilty after self pleasuring? You know what I say to that? F**K that! Literally. There are plenty of benefits and reasons for her to masturbate. There are also great reasons why he should masturbate.
Masturbate
Make yourself some private time right now and masturbate! Or grab your partner and get jiggy, or the guy next door, maybe that girl that keeps lightly teasing you with her eyes as you’re reading this. This is a great time to get it on!
I was also able to meet someone really interesting today too. Dr. Amy Cooper is the bomb shell who wrote the book "The Everything Orgasm Book". Her book discusses everything from myths about orgasms, enhancing your orgasm experiences to 10 ways to improve your orgasm. One of the most interesting things that sparked much discussion was when she said, "If you want deeper orgasms, explore ways to do that. But don’t go against the orgasms you’re having now." Everyone wants earth shattering, mind blowing, wake up the neighbors, final act of the opera orgasms. Of course we do! The orgasm is so great it allows us to feel like we’ve slipped into temporary bliss. Everything in the world disappears for a few seconds and you get to be in your own little pleasure bubble floating around ecstasy land.
Not all orgasms are created equal
The key to a positive life of fulfilling orgasms though is variance. Think of orgasms like chocolate. Sometimes you like a little peanut & nuget, or a little milk chocolate, then there are days when you’re just dying to have a truffle. OK, maybe 4 truffles. But that the best part! That’s OK! Orgasmic variance is what makes discovering your sexual patterns part of the fun. Exploring what feels good, mixing it up, and having different orgasmic goals is all part of the idea of the “evolving orgasm”. No one wants to stay stagnant. Our civilization feeds on change and evolution and progression to become something more and our sexuality does as well, which including our orgasms. So here’s my sexy tip:
Take your orgasm into your own hands Be confident in your sexuality and the fact that you - yes you, deserve wonderful orgasms as much as the next person. Self pleasuring (aka masturbation) is probably the most reliable source as you really only have to deal with yourself. Incorporate fantasy, toys, lubes, varying partners, techniques, textures, light some incense or bath in a scented oils, varying positions, speeds, times of the day. The list can go on and on! Play with your clitoris, G Spot, anus, prostate, testes, nipples and all the other erogenous zones. Not sure where they are? Explore!
Either way, set yourself a goal and work up to it. Don’t get discouraged if the missions fails the first time. Your personal orgasmic recipe is individual and varies based on numerous factors. Just have fun with it though. This is supposed to be a bonding exercise for yourself with yourself.
Love yourself, and let your orgasms love you.
Lovingly cross-posted from Dr. Carlen's Sexy Living blog.
As a Sexologist, "Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen" is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Send me questions, send me your thoughts! Through this we will cater to all orientations, genders and age groups. We are all Sexy beings, and should feel as such in our own skins. Find Dr. Carlen on Twitter @DrCarlen and 'Like' her Facebook page.
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