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"It's a man's world", James Brown sang, but in the land of female domination in BDSM play, it is anything but. Welcome to Orgasm October, and although it's no longer Fifty Shades of Grey September, I'm still musing lustily on BDSM play. Here, I complete my three-part series on the erotic landscape of femdom with an introduction to another fetish that's unique within this dynamic; financial domination. Also known as money slavery, this erotic fetish blissfully combines the hunger for complete loss of control, with the need to be humiliated by a dominant woman.A word on consent
Remember that although the topics covered here may appear far from consensual on the outside looking in, in reality they are negotiated acts between consenting adults. Before beginning play of this nature, negotiation is key to healthy and successful erotic power exchange. Heed the creed: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. For more information on negotiation 101, read this article by Jean-Luc Gothos.
Financial domination is a subset of kink primarily associated within the femdom/male submissive dynamic of play. Although many different gender dynamics can experience this kind of play, it is most prevalent within this specific gender dynamic. In our society it has traditionally been that men were seen as the "bread winners" of the relationship, so this fetish, at it's psychological root, pulls energy from their subjugation.
Money slavery is the gifting or taking of money, to or by the femdom, from the submissive on a scheduled basis. These payments, often refereed to as "tributes", are required on whatever basis the femdom decides, and can come in an array of forms which I will explain in greater detail later on. While this dynamic sometimes includes other BDSM related activities, most money slaves receive nothing more than the gift of their femdom's attention these fleeting moments of "tribute". In the purest form, this fetish also never involves sex between the dominant and submissive, as he knows she is lowly, beneath the likes of her, and only his money makes him worthy of even a glimmer of her attention.
It's all in your head... and your wallet
Nothing in our overly-commercialized society seems to represent power, and who has it, more than the amassing of money does. Money symbolizes so many things we idolize; wealth, strength, security, beauty, and even health. We're taught whoever has the most money holds the most power, and so what better way to relinquish your power to another than by submitting in this most vulnerable of ways to another. To give that power to a beautiful dominant woman, a femme fatale of sorts, who can either raise you up or bring you to utter ruin with just a bat of her eyelash (or a click of her finger in your bank account), is the epitome of erotic to this type of submissive male. It is the deepest core desire of the money slave to experience the loss of control at such a depth that only this kind of vulnerability can provide.
Tis' better to give than receive
Financial domination falls under the umbrella of humiliation play in BDSM. Like many genres of humiliation based fantasies, it's a very cerebral kink. It's the literal mind fuck, a mental chase of cat and mouse, of which is the key to it's effectiveness. Dancing on this razor-sharp edge between security and destruction is incredibly sexually arousing for them. The submissive, is this scenario, yearns to be either cleverly coerced into giving money to the femdom, or to simply have her take it, and they are to expect nothing in return. He knows she has no other real use for him but to be her human wallet, and the gratification this provides him is pure heaven. The sheer fact that he has given up his money to her is his benefit, and he rejoices in it.
Forms of tribute
Some FemDoms, also called findoms (financial dominants), require tributes in the form of cash, or automatic bank deposits. It is the femdom's desire to make the submissive into her walking wallet, or ATM machine, and the submissive's to be used as such. Sometimes the femdom will require her money slave to pay specific bills of hers, from everything as large as her mortgage, to as small as her salon or spa visit costs. When I kept money slaves, a favorite thing I used to enjoy was charging them rent to exist in my world. I picked that trick up from the government, and sometimes called it "taxes" *wink*. The gifting of items off of "wish lists" is very popular; a femdom will have things already picked out, and the submissive is required to purchase items for her off of the list. Shopping sprees in stores with the submissive handing over the money, and getting awarded the pleasure of carrying her bags and being her in presence, are also a very popular tribute.
Tributes often depend on the persona that the femdom chooses to don. Some femdoms are cruel domineering mistresses, some are goddesses to be worshipped, and others are spoiled princesses who demand to be pampered and adored. Each submissive has a particular persona that trips his submissive trigger, just as each femdom has a persona that does as well.
BlackmailIn some dynamics, the femdom may require the passwords to all his online banking sites and credit cards, for unlimited access at her whim. This is often a component of blackmail fetishes, which is a subset of financial domination.
To complete the blackmail fetish, and feel the ultimate thrill in total vulnerability, the submissive will provide the femdom with real-life sensitive information like family member names and business contacts, so if the little slave piggy doesn't pay tribute when required, the femdom can expose him, and his fetish, to others.
This is regarded as the quintessential height of "edge play" in this fetish because of the extreme surrender. It should also be noted that this requires great trust, and sometimes the questioning thereof is the biggest turn on! When the submissive wishes to withdraw from such a relationship dynamic, a "buy out" cost is often applied. This can be a multiplied version of whatever the usual scheduled tribute amount is. No information is ever revealed as long as the money slave obeys all of his agreed upon requirements of servitude to his findom.
Lastly...
The combination of raw vulnerability, debasement, and total surrender is an intoxicating mix for the money slave. While this fetish may not be for everyone, to a select few it is an intensely erotic exchange of power. Whatever your kink may be my fellow sexplorers; play safe, negotiate, and most of all, have fun! Intrigued? Want to know more about the world of financial domination? Contact Portia Blush below.
She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on Twitter @erogenousblog, Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS, her blog.
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with the title FemDom Series #3: Intro to Financial Domination. You can bookmark this page URL http://gatinhasfile.blogspot.com/2012/10/femdom-series-3-intro-to-financial.html. Thanks!
